I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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