I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
