I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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