Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
