Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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