is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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