OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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