Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
