Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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