Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
How does one acquire holy water?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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