It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
