it's too hot outside to masturbate.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
