hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
