This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
