i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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