So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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