if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
