Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I am spending my child support on dildos
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
