I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
