Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
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