I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
