we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
