you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I am naked and annoyed.
A bitchslap is in order.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
