Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I got inside last night via doggy door
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
