So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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