wat bout pragnant strippers??
I smell stomach acid.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
