Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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