"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
