I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
