Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
