Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
