I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
