I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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