I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
