I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
