well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
