We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
