I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Two words: nipple clamps
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