My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Actions speak louder than pants.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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