yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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