So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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