my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
