PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
