you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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