About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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