We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
