it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
