She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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