your room smells of hookers.
And success
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize
