idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
