Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
